I really like rain, for as long as I can remember
But I cannot say it out loud, especially in the last two weeks.
It’s been raining all day. Floods everywhere.
People got stuck on their vehicle or public transportation for 1-3 hours just to get to their destination.
While others are soaked in their motorbike or taxi bike.
And I’m lucky enough, I don’t have to go anywhere.
Just stay at home, enjoying the rain, the sound, the smell, the weather, without getting wet.
But, there’s a bit of guilt.
While others struggle outside, I'm comfortable.
No, I’m not bragging or romanticizing it to everyone on social media.
Because I’ve seen it myself, how people wish for the rain to stop.
How, sometimes, they curse the rain for flooding their house, making them late for work, for disrupting their routines.
But, still…
There’s a voice in my head:
“Why am I happy for something that makes other people miserable?”
“Am I insensitive?”
“Where’s my empathy?”
I questioned myself.
I sometimes also ask, “Would I still feel this way if I had to go outside on a rainy day?”
I might not be able to answer that.
One moment I clearly remember not liking the rain is when it pours on Friday after office hours, right before a long weekend.
That used to upset me, especially when buses were hard to find.
And the rest… I can't really remember.
Maybe because it's been too long already since I've been unemployed.
So, when someone brings my-love-for-rain after expressing sympathy for what they 've been going through because of rain, I feel a little offended.
Not to mention how strange it feels that I can’t express this feeling, even to the closest.
It’s not up to me whether it rains or not.
It’s not my fault the traffic sucks during the rain, nor the rain’s fault.
It’s not my fault either if rain causes floods.
I will always blame the incompetent government, by the way…
The one who chose “modifikasi cuaca biar hujan berenti dan banjir surut”, instead of fixing the drainage system.
The one who says “pohon sawit kan sama-sama pohon” instead of actually using their heads.
The one who fails to provide proper, integrated public transportation.
Because I remember some post on Instagram:
Hujan nggak seharusnya melumpuhkan.
Because I remember I can still go everywhere when in Japan, quite comfortably, on rainy and windy days. Simply because their government uses their head.
So it’s not the rain to blame.
Yes, I stood up for the rain when no one asked.