Year 2020 is hard, so far. I think almost everyone is agree to this statement.
Popular people gone.
The covid-19 pandemy.
Nature disaster, eruption, flood.
Yes, 2020 is hard.
I agree.
It's hard for me also.
It starts with my grandmother experience a hand fracture. She need to hospitalized a day and need to go throug a procedure on a day later.
Then, 3 weeks in a row taking care of husband who hospitalized.
On those 3 weeks, I heard one of Indonesian public figure has passed away. He's too young. Everybody said he's gone too soon. I also agree. This time, I strongly realized, we can loose anyone we love anytime.
After that, my brother got fainted in his car park office, inside the car. Thank God he's still got a chance to call my mother so we know the condition. I can't imagine if he doesn't have a call. Stuck in the car without anyone knowing.
Thank God also my office is near his.
I found him unconscious inside the car together with the security. Thank God he already unlock the car. So I get into the car, but I can't wake him up. He doesn't response. So, the security and I need to send him to the hospital. While on the ambulance, my sister call me histerically. Yeah, she's a panic-and-histerical type person.
No, I'm not a person that very calm. I just tryin to because I need to think clearly.
That time, a thought across in my mind: can I handle the feeling if I losing someone I loved? How can I through that difficult time? What if that day come?
Sooner or later, 'that time' must be come to see you, right?
If someone tend to scared of the death of themselves, I'm not really. Maybe I'm scared, but it's not bigger than my fear of the death of my loved ones.
This kind of thought already there when I was on elementary school. I even cry all night long till I got my eyes swollen in the morning just because this kind of tought. Haha. Silly.
So, yeah, how can I handle if this happened to me?
God has given me with an abundant blessing. I live with complete family member till today. I always live on the same house with my closest family member. I never leave that house till I get married.
Those kind situation makes me never prepared for living far from them. Not seeing them for week in early marriage can make me gloomy. But, it doesn't mean I'm not grateful can live with them on my whole life. I'm beyond grateful.
I just wondering, how can I handle the lost of my loved ones?
This thought also makes me scare to give love or admit that I really into to my partner. I'm too scared to imagine what will my life would be if someday he's not beside me anymore. Then, sometimes, it makes me act like I don't really care and try to look independent, just to make an impression that I-can-still-survived-by-myself.
But because of this thought, I hardly learned.
I learned to appreciate time whenever you have.
Time become the most expensive thing that I can't buy no matter how much money I have.
I learned, what all I need is time.
Can I get those time?
Popular people gone.
The covid-19 pandemy.
Nature disaster, eruption, flood.
Yes, 2020 is hard.
I agree.
It's hard for me also.
It starts with my grandmother experience a hand fracture. She need to hospitalized a day and need to go throug a procedure on a day later.
Then, 3 weeks in a row taking care of husband who hospitalized.
On those 3 weeks, I heard one of Indonesian public figure has passed away. He's too young. Everybody said he's gone too soon. I also agree. This time, I strongly realized, we can loose anyone we love anytime.
After that, my brother got fainted in his car park office, inside the car. Thank God he's still got a chance to call my mother so we know the condition. I can't imagine if he doesn't have a call. Stuck in the car without anyone knowing.
Thank God also my office is near his.
I found him unconscious inside the car together with the security. Thank God he already unlock the car. So I get into the car, but I can't wake him up. He doesn't response. So, the security and I need to send him to the hospital. While on the ambulance, my sister call me histerically. Yeah, she's a panic-and-histerical type person.
No, I'm not a person that very calm. I just tryin to because I need to think clearly.
That time, a thought across in my mind: can I handle the feeling if I losing someone I loved? How can I through that difficult time? What if that day come?
Sooner or later, 'that time' must be come to see you, right?
If someone tend to scared of the death of themselves, I'm not really. Maybe I'm scared, but it's not bigger than my fear of the death of my loved ones.
This kind of thought already there when I was on elementary school. I even cry all night long till I got my eyes swollen in the morning just because this kind of tought. Haha. Silly.
So, yeah, how can I handle if this happened to me?
God has given me with an abundant blessing. I live with complete family member till today. I always live on the same house with my closest family member. I never leave that house till I get married.
Those kind situation makes me never prepared for living far from them. Not seeing them for week in early marriage can make me gloomy. But, it doesn't mean I'm not grateful can live with them on my whole life. I'm beyond grateful.
I just wondering, how can I handle the lost of my loved ones?
This thought also makes me scare to give love or admit that I really into to my partner. I'm too scared to imagine what will my life would be if someday he's not beside me anymore. Then, sometimes, it makes me act like I don't really care and try to look independent, just to make an impression that I-can-still-survived-by-myself.
But because of this thought, I hardly learned.
I learned to appreciate time whenever you have.
Time become the most expensive thing that I can't buy no matter how much money I have.
I learned, what all I need is time.
Can I get those time?